Please Don't P*ss on the Petunias: Raising Kids, Crops, and Critters in the City by Sandra Knauf
North Street Book Prize Award Finalist 2019
Please Don't Piss on the Petunias is a collection of essays and stories by a Colorado gardener with a dream: to give her two daughters the nature-centered childhood she had always longed for. When her husband finds an old house in a quirky part of town, she begins to make her dream a reality.
Engaging, edgy, and often hilarious, Please Don’t Piss on the Petunias follows Sandra Knauf as she turns a weed-filled yard into an urban paradise. Over the course of several chaotic years, she:
• Muddles through "mistress gardener" training, learning the ABCs of horticulture. • Raises, with her young daughters, exotic breed bantam chickens named after Greek goddesses. • Goes on her first bee-swarm capture. • Discovers that a hen in their small flock has undergone a sex change. • Copes with a series of family dogs: a rambunctious rescue Dalmatian, a destructive black Lab puppy, and a counterfeit teacup Chihuahua with a bad attitude. • Adds to the animal menagerie: Netherlands dwarf rabbits, fancy backyard goldfish, triops from the age of the dinosaurs, and more.
Through creating a life filled with plants and animals (and plenty of love) Sandra makes a discovery that will resonate with any rebel: Going off the beaten path may be the best way to find out who you really are.
Click on book to purchase through Amazon.com. 247 p.; $24.95 (Paperback)
Available in Colorado Springs at:
Hooked on Books Downtown location, 10 E. Bijou St., Colorado Springs, CO 80903 (719) 419-7660
On the eve of Zera’s fifteenth birthday, she’s finding little to celebrate. Her guardian, Uncle Theodore (who she’s nicknamed “the Toad”), and his frilly girlfriend, Tiffany, are dragging her to the opening of a fast-food restaurant that will feature the Toad’s genetically-engineered creation “beefy fries,” a concept that both sickens and intrigues Zera.
As if that were not enough, Zera is in trouble at school for mysterious events that she neither caused nor understands—and her classmates think she is a freak.
The single light in Zera’s dark birthday is a gift from her grandmother that awakens Zera’s passion for plants and helps bring to light her family’s ancient connection to the natural world.
From there, the battle between those who would violate Nature in the name of greed and those who would protect it evolves—with Zera at its center.
373 p., $2.99 (Kindle); $24.95 (Paperback)
Click on book to purchase through Amazon.com.
George Washington Carver: Grandfather of Sustainability by Cheri Colburn
In her excellent mini-biography of American scientist/botanist George Washington Carver, author Cheri Colburn shows that Carver was much more than “The Peanut Guy.” Carver was, indeed, a man for today—the creator of brilliant solutions for hard times, and a champion of lifelong learning, beauty, and common sense.
e-book, 36 p., illustrated. $2.99 on Kindle Amazon
Click on book cover to purchase through Amazon.com.
The Whole Ruth: A Biography of Ruth Stout by Sandra Knauf
A fascinating, in-depth biography of organic gardener/best-selling author Ruth Stout - who was famous for her "no work" garden method in the 1960s and '70s. It's Ruth Stout as you've never known her before - rebel, nonconformist, Socialist, and sometimes (in the garden) nudist!
e-book, 29 p. illustrated. $2.99 on Kindle Amazon.
Click on book to purchase through Amazon.com.
Greenwoman Books, Volumes 1-6 celebrate garden writing in all its forms: fiction, creative nonfiction, poetry, commentary, biography, art, and comics!
Daring and fun, Greenwoman is for the gardener who loves digging into the world of art, spirit, and environmental thought that underlies gardening. -Sandra Knauf
(Click on book images to purchase through Amazon.com.)
Volume 6: Moon Gardening Contents
Creative Nonfiction Love & Roses – Sandra Knauf
Fiction Little Cabbage - Rebekah Shardy Coping Strategies - Bruce Holland Rogers
Interview A Jeffersonian Agrarian Intellectual: Greenwoman Interviews Joel Salatin - Sandra Knauf
Poetry Chopping Firewood - James A. Ciletti Uncle Joe's Onions - James A. Ciletti The Moon Loves a Garden - Rebekah Shardy Garden Party - Meredith Drake
Special Features Gardening with the Moon - Rebekah Shardy
Art Madonna Pietra delgli Scrovigni - Marie Spartali Stillman American Album Quilt– Elizabeth Sanford Jennings Hopkins A Vase of Tulips in Front of a Window - Johannes Carolus Bernardus (Jan) Sluijters Little Cabbage – Laura Chilson Still Life with Robin's Nest - Fidelia Bridges Breton Girl Looking After Plants in Hothouse - Anna Petersen Joel Salatin - Laura Chilson Natural Magic - Eleanor Fortescue Brickdale Bee in Cherry Blossom- Leslie Macon Cactus Carla - Laura Chilson The Wondering Moon - William Blake Wilderness (Woman) - Rockwell Kent Bouquet of Flowers in a Glass Vase - Ambrosius Bosschaert the Elder
Comics & Etc. Poetry Comics – Jessy Randall Getting Your Cabbages (and Radishes, and Lettuce) in a Row - Mae Fayne Gimme Some Sugar Lil' Honey Bee - Mae Fayne & Angus Skillet Nonsense Botany - Edward Lear The Fearless Flock– Sharon Rosenzweig
Columns & Essays Slow Ride: Slow Life Confessions - Dan Murphy The Creature Feature: Arachnophilia - DB Rudin Sex in the Garden: Cactus: Beyond the Phallus - Elisabeth Kinsey Leafing Through (Book Reviews) - Dan Murphy, Pat Kennelly, Zora Knauf, Sandra Knauf Top Dressing: Nurture, Nurture, Nurture - Kathryn Hall
Excerpts from Greenwoman Volume #6:
Heirlooms & Hothouses
"It’s a dangerous time of year for a gardener. The catalogs feature rediscovered heirloom seeds with gorgeous names: Dragon’s Tongue beans, Crimson Curtain and Banana Leg tomatoes, Painted Serpent cucumbers, King of the North peppers. They sound like legends and poetry. The herbs sound like characters from old fairytales with names like feverfew, sneezewort, wormwood, and heartsease. I want them all."
Arachnophilia
"One fascinating bit of video footage from 'Secrets and Mysteries of Spiders' shows the Portia silently rappelling down, on a single silk line, from a branch above the web, then leaping when close, taking the much larger cross spider completely by surprise. Dr. Pollard summarizes his fascination with these techniques, 'This type of forward thinking is almost unheard of in the invertebrate world. Portia’s weapon is her mind.' "
Slow Life Confessions
"In my youth I felt compelled to start a recycling club. I gave it a name, something clever like Recycling Rangers. I made flyers announcing meetings and bookmarks offering recycling tips. I was too timid to spread the word to anyone besides family members (who were too busy or uninterested or both), so dreams of starting my own club quickly faded."
Coping Strategies
"A website offers strategies, such as repeating her worry until it bores her. 'We are devouring the earth,' she mutters to herself for half an hour in bed. She does not drop off to sleep."
A Jeffersonian Agrarian Intellectual: Greenwoman Magazine Interviews Joel Salatin on Writing
Greenwoman: Who are your favorite authors—and why?
Joe Salatin: ". . . Sixth is Charles Dickens. I read so much—as the previous list attests—for my life’s work, my own understanding of my vocation and craft, that sometimes I want to take a detour. I don’t read much fiction, but have found great enjoyment in the classics. I never read them in school because my reading pleasure always involved debate research. So at this point in my life, I’ve discovered the great classics and am captivated by the power of their stories. In my opinion, no one captivates me like Charles Dickens. And to think he wrote with a quill pen. I read David Copperfield on my last trip back from Australia—14 hours on one flight. I didn’t go to the bathroom, sleep, or get tired. The story was absolutely consuming. I laughed and cried as I lived this wonderful tale leaping out to my imagination, across the decades, across the cultures. His ability to criticize his culture is unparalleled. I wish I could make up a yarn like Dickens."
Love & Roses
"These symbols of youth (gather ye rosebuds) will grow, swell, and open into almost luminescent-white blossoms with a spicy, lemony scent. Full blown, hardy, irresistible roses, so much like blossoming young women. Soon they’ll be wide awake and ready for pollination. I think of how, in years with rain, these canes have exploded. I have laughed out loud at the sight of greedy squirrels stuffing whole blooms into their mouths. Snow-white flowers, rose-red blood. As I prune and saw, my mind begins to make more associations between love and roses. Do roses really mean love?"
Uncle Joe's Onions
Right after mass and communion on St. Patrick’s day, with big snowflakes fluttering down on him, Uncle Joe’s foot and spade were turning over his garden. With a sharp stick he furrowed long rows of black earth then drilled hole after hole and planted and covered white onion bulbs.
Garden Party
The weeds in my garden awake in their seed pods, squat in their steamy caves, dip their feet in the dung.
Gardening with the Moon
"My grandmother, born prior to 1900, was an overachiever by any generation’s standards. She birthed 13 children and cared for a blind father and consumptive sister-in-law until their deaths; traveled a circuit to sell dry goods to supplement her husband’s income as a carpenter; played the violin and wrote plays; and was apprenticed as a midwife and healer—herbal and magic—in her country village. She died before I was born in 1956 but my mother told me how she sifted garden soil with a screen until it was as 'fine as cake flour.' This was before the advent of pesticides and she had her own biological weapon: a pet toad who patrolled her rows to pluck rogue invaders with its dead-aim tongue. 'She also planted by the moon,' my mother said, and I wondered what that meant. I envisioned a witchy-woman sowing at midnight. Not so. It wouldn’t make sense to me until later when I studied the moon’s phases, a kind of celestial dance that also serves as metaphor for a woman’s life, and all the changes that cycle through our time on earth."
Nurture, Nurture, Nurture
"If I ask myself what is the central principle behind this endless and perpetual taking care, I’d have to say life itself. Life reaching towards life. Life ensuring life continues. That, essentially, is the drive behind it all, is it not? Each and every living thing on planet Earth is hardwired for doing well, for keeping the whole thing going, for perpetuating life. The lengths various species go to ensure their sticking around boggles the mind."
Volume 5: Ruth Stout Contents
"Apples are Ruling My Life" — wherein a new hobby orchardist finds more (much more) than she bargained for
"A Life of the Mind — Bruce Holland Rogers' short tale of a man's difficulties with ex-spouse and life in general and the way he finds relief
"The Pot of Basil" — an ancient Italian tale of treachery and eternal love
"The Whole Ruth" — a biography of organic gardening guru Ruth Stout's life, from her Victorian-era childhood, through her two decades in NYC, to her realization of her intense (and sometimes nude) gardening love"
"Tomato Love" and "Dearest Mary" -- two poems about love and gardening and other deliciousness
"A New (Garden Writing Sensation): Greenwoman Magazine Interviews Amanda Thomsen" -- Amanda talks about her first book and her interesting trajectory into garden writing publishing
Dan Murphy's “Slow Ride;” DB Rudin's "The Creature Feature;” art, comics . . . and MORE.
Volume 4: Garden Goddesses Contents
"A Generous Season" — A man gives homage to his wife's vegetable-growing talents
"Diary of a Garden Goddess" — a first-trowel account of gardening for the very wealthy, by a part-time gardener/full-time mommy
"Lady in Waiting" — a woman from the 1920s discovers horticulture (with a magical twist) as a way out of her unsatisfying life
"En Route" and "Chamomile Tea" — Two poems about the not-so-secret lives of bees
"Perfect Eggs" — An ode to the sexual nature and gifts of chickens; "Grow" -- a poem on just that
"Winter Garden" — a poem on the broody wonder of winter
"Amy's Other Art: An Interview with (New York Times Bestseller Author) Amy Stewart — on her love of painting
"Fire on the Mountain" — (a chapter from Take to the Hills - in which a woman homesteader has to fight a wild fire)
Another "Sex in the Garden" column by Elisabeth Kinsey, who takes on tuber and bulb love
Dan Murphy's “Slow Ride;” DB Rudin's "The Creature Feature;” art, comics . . . and MORE.
Volume 3: The Victory of Dirt Contents
"Mr. Stripey" -- The hilarious (and edgy) story of a marriage battle—over a tomato plant
“No Compost, No Digestion” — a chapter excerpt from Joel Salatin's amazing new book Folks, This Ain’t Normal
“Never Surrender!”— The tale of a Colorado Plain’s man who wants to save his true love’s garden
“Almost Too Happy”— one woman’s reflection on how her imperfect and sometimes out-of-control life is very much like her garden
“Victory Gardens of Today” — a historic piece by LaManda Joy on America’s Second World War Victory Gardens and the valuable lessons they can teach us now.
We also have a heart-to-heart interview with Jane Gates (landscape designer/writer/artist)
another naughty ("Sex in the Garden") column by Elisabeth Kinsey, who muses on the profoundly fecund subject of dirt;
Dan Murphy's “Slow Ride;” DB Rudin's "The Creature Feature;” art, comics . . . and MORE.
Volume 2: George Washington Carver Contents
"George Washington Carver: Grandfather of Sustainability" — an amazingly wrought mini-biography of the man who was so much more than "the peanut guy"
"The Garden Club," the humorous tale of a typical non-gardener and his garden-mad neighbor (who happens to be nine years old)
“Naked Tomatoes”— Alissa Johnson’s delicately-told tale of the changing landscape of love
“Rare Breed”— Former New York Times food columnist Molly O’Neill’s portrait of a former “Marlboro Man” model who is saving heritage breed turkeys in Kansas
“Winter’s Heart”— “Sex in the Garden” columnist Elisabeth Kinsey explores the eroticism and cultivation of roses. PLUS “The Honey Challenge,”
“Slow Ride,” “The Creature Feature,” art, comics . . . and MORE.
Volume 1: Germination Contents
“Organicize Me” — the humorous nonfiction account of one man challenging himself to eat 100% organic for one month
“Gone Native”— a woman mulls over stealing native plants from parks—it’s wrong . . . isn't it?
“Hello, Doobie Tuesday”— a visit to a Boulder, Colorado medical marijuana clinic
“The Chicken Chronicles”— a woman raising exotic breed bantam chickens in the city with her two young daughters finds that raising poultry can give you something to crow about.
"Seeds of Sustainability" — the history of seed selling and seed saving in the U.S.A. with a few how-tos and a lot on why this is important!
“A Human Birth”— The fictional tale about a woman and her penchant for finding relief only in the cool, dark soil
poetry, including: “How to Eat a Mango,” “At the Cancun Summit,” Men at Work,” and “The Scoville Heat Index of You.”
An Interview on gardening, life, and creativity with award-winning novelist Carleen Brice—author of Orange Mint and Honey;
A biography on famed Indian plant guru Jagadis Chandra Bose
“Sex in the Garden;” “Slow Ride;” and “The Creature Feature.” Art—Comics—Book Reviews—and more!